Aunt Martha sports a hideous new dress that accentuates her bulges. What do you say?Perhaps you cop out: “Fuchsia is certainly your color!” Maybe you describe the hidden reality with these words: “You are so cheerful!” But in this case, the truth, “That’s the ugliest dress I have ever seen!” is cruel. Even the most honest person wouldn’t insult his or her aunt. This example may over simplify the complex situations in which we find ourselves today. We have recently seen deception by people we have placed our trust in. Countries go to war based on wobbly intelligence. Priests with a history of child abuse have been placed in parishes without concern for the need to protect possible new victims.

But we cannot point our fingers at others until we turn it on ourselves. As children, wemay have figured out that small lies were “okay” as long as we did not get caught. As adolescents, we learned to protect our fragile egos by broadcasting the positives and concealing the negatives about ourselves. As adults, we struggle to maintain a balance betweenprivacy and intimacy. We don’t want to “tell all” as on a talk show. But we also know thatthose we love deserve the full truth about ourselves, even when it is painful to reveal.

Here are two examples. Brendan is the life of the party, an Irish storyteller. No one minds when he exaggerates. It makes the stories better. Unfortunately, that strategy carries into his personal life. His ideas about himself grow grandiose and far from reality, but sadly, he believes them. Brendan gets caught up in the fiction. He always stars in the latest exploit. But by now, no one is sure it really happened.

Molly, on the other hand, gives flesh to the saying: “She knows who she is.” People needing an honest opinion count on her to give it. She trusts them with the truth because she believes that they can handle it. She openly admits that she has done her time in therapy. Without boring people too much, Molly will explain that alcohol is poison for her system. She knows the dark side as well as her assets, and conveys a hard-won authenticity. So this business of truth-telling gets more complex than Aunt Martha’s dress. The biblical origins of our tradition show why truth is revered as sacred.

The perfect example of inner solidity comes from Jesus. When the soldiers approach him inthe Garden of Olives, he does not hide. In fact, he initiates the conversation: “Who are you looking for?” When they answer: “Jesus the Nazorean,” he says simply: “I am (John 18:4-5).” What if Jesus fudged? Suspecting what was to come, he could have said: “Oh, no, you have the wrong guy. I just look like him.” He might have escaped. Instead, he stands firm in the truth, despite all that it will cost him.

What does Jesus model for us? When, like Brendan, we create myths about ourselves to impress others, we deny what is far more wonderful about us: our likeness to God. When we perpetuate the falsehoods of advertising, we prefer appearance to reality. When we tolerate phoniness, we refuse God the praise that even a blade of grass or an honest dandelion might give. Thomas Merton says that our response to God’s initial word is to become God’s words: God’s answer and echo. To do that, we must hone our words to the mosthonest and accurate ones that we can find. Thus, we honor the Eighth Commandment: “You shall not bear false witness against a neighbor (Exodus 20:16).”

About the Author: Kathy Coffey is an award-winning author, educator, and retreat director. In addition, she is a regular contributor to Bringing Home the Word, a weekly resource for prayer and reflection based on the Sunday Mass readings. Click the link below for the latest edition!

CCGR Weekly Newsletter (11-17-19) 
Bringing Home the Word (11-17-19) 
Watch: The Pope Video (November 2019)

__________

Holy Family Parish
Annual Christmas Fair
Saturday, November 23rd